Now, one thing I’ve learned over the years is, a good fuck while cruising seldom ever translates to anything worthwhile once you’ve left that space. …because this is one of VERY few bathhouse photos I could find with a Black guy involved 4) Exchanging your real numbers It’s just better that way because dudes are trash. is to feel a dude out then find the nearest “private” spot (be it a booth, my room at a bathhouse, etc.) before we really get into it. When guys try and put themselves into a session without invite, it’s a mood killer…and I find it happens more often than not when in public spaces. Sometimes another guy coming into ongoing play is welcome, but more often than not, just stand back and watch. Being watched can be pretty damn fun…until dudes see fit to insert themselves where they weren’t invited.
#Hoy gay men cruising how to
This is because dudes just don’t know how to be good voyeurs. But over the years, I’ve found myself seeking out more private spaces, even while publicly cruising. I’ve long considered myself an exhibitionist. Speaking of which… 3) Interrupting ongoing play The whole top/bottom dynamic makes this whole thing even more annoying, if not sad…but the very act of interrupting folks who already have something going on is tacky, in and of itself. I tend to let the “competing” bottom have him (I refuse to fight for dick)…or (more likely scenario) the dude is enthralled with me and ain’t checking for him, because…duh. Sorry about your luck, but…leave people to their fucking.
Every now and then, I’ll be hitting it off with a guy in a given cruising space, and another bottom will attempt to derail that encounter.
But I think this notion feeds into a “competitive” mindset among bottoms a mindset we never see among tops. I, personally, don’t buy into that mindset, because…I mean…I’m finding dick just fine. If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard something like, “What do you call a Top in ? A visitor,” I’d probably be able to pay rent for the next 3 months. There’s this common idea that bottoms exist in excess, while tops are unicorns. If you recall me talking about how patriarchy affects Gay/Queer men’s spaces, this is (maybe?) another example. Assholes! Let’s be more cognizant of others in our sluttery…MOVE! 2) Bottoms competing with each other But what really gets me is the dudes who can clearly see they’re blocking people, but still don’t move.
Shift over to the nearest corner or a spot off to the side, so we can walk through. I’d rather be cruising around for dick (so I can enjoy thotty self like y’all) than being stuck, idly watching. I do enjoy seeing men hit it off and enjoy their sexuality with each other (even where I’m not involved), but like…I’m also not a voyeur. I feel like I’m not alone in any of these, so let’s share:
However, there’s a few common things I’ve seen and experienced in cruising spaces that confuse me, if not put me off. Not to mention, it just makes sex that much more fun. Cruising has given me opportunities to explore myself sexually and, in turn, learn about myself, as a whole (or a whole hoe…either works). As a sexually liberated Gay man, there’s one staple of “Gay culture” that I’ve been quite fond of over the years: Cruising.